Mon, Aug 12, 2013
As I sit here tears are streaming down my face. I’ve held it in all day and pretended to be ok, but the truth is, my heart is broken and I miss my dad so much. Today makes 2 years since he went to his new home in heaven. I can’t believe it’s been 2 years since I saw his face or hugged him. And I’m really not sure that 2 years has made it hurt any less. That “time heals all wounds” saying is kind of crap. Time has merely revealed the value and the magnitude of what we lost; it hasn’t healed anything. I don’t think that wound will ever heal. We’re just trying to learn how to live in our new reality; to mask that void by staying too busy to think about it. But as I allowed myself to stop pretending and think about it this evening, I started thinking of all the things we learned from him. I started thinking how wonderful the world could be if we all learned to live more like Ricky. Now he had his faults too; no one is perfect. But I promise you this; no one lived with more honor and integrity.
To those of you who are husbands and fathers, I hope you realize the profound impact (good and bad) you have on your family. You have the ability to be our protectors, our teachers, our role models, our heroes, our safe place, our source of confidence, our spiritual leader, our encouragement, our guardian, and the 1 person who always has our back. We depend on you so much for so many things that are probably unspoken and unknown to you. But I’m telling you today that your role is vital; immeasurable – and without you, or when you don’t step up to the plate, nothing feels ok. Everything is out of place and off balance. We need your glue and to just hear you say that everything’s gonna be ok.
So here’s a few lessons straight from dad that always made me know that everything was going to be ok. Maybe they’ll be helpful to you as well in some way.
- Learn how to fix things on your own – with parts and tools and your strength. And teach your kids how to fix things too.
- Get all your work and chores done before you play.
- Chill out. And don’t talk so loud.
- Family is always, and I mean always first. Family is everything.
- Do nice things for people for free and expect nothing in return.
- Make sure the kids know that you think their momma hung the moon and is the most beautiful woman on earth.
- Do acts of service. If that’s not your love language, do acts of service anyway.
- Say “I’m proud of you” and “I love you” every chance you get. (I still vividly hear dad saying these to me when I think of him.)
- Love Jesus and raise your kids to love Jesus.
- Hug the people you love when you see them. Hug them too much.
- Be there. No matter when, no matter what, no matter where. Be there.
- Honor your word. Keep your promises. Period.
- Love. Just love people.
- And finally – drive boats way too fast, have a little fun sometimes, and drink tequila with nothing but a little lime!
Thank you for these lessons dad! Thank you for loving us and protecting us and for always having our back. Thank you for making us the women we have become. I’ve always taken comfort in the fact that if you have to be gone from here; at least you can protect us in a more powerful and supernatural way from up there. I know you still have our back. Love you and I’m so proud of you too.