Slow down there for a minute Drama Queen

Wed, Mar 14, 2012

Learning to Fly

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll

I realize of course that it takes all types to make the world go round, but I’m going to pick on you drama queens and kings a little today.  You know who you are.  Well, some of you may not.  You are the ones who completely and totally stress yourself out when things happen; minor things, things that aren’t the big deal you think they are, things beyond your control, and sometimes things that don’t even have anything to do with you.  You are the ones who turn your world upside down and make drastic decisions.  You gossip, pick a fight, yell and scream, pout, make psychotic phone calls, send obsessive text messages, and just generally freak out in whatever form or fashion you choose to freak out when something happens.  You cause your blood pressure to spike, you send your cortisol levels through the roof, your overly emotional reaction causes drama, headaches, and stress for not only yourself, but those around you.  And all for what?  What good comes from any of this?  What problem did you solve by freaking out?  What situation did you make better by making drastic decisions or jumping to conclusions?  Was the damage to your health and the darkening of your day really worth that?

For those of you that are TRUE drama queens and kings, you would probably say that yes, it’s totally worth it!  Because you thrive on drama and seem to need it to survive.  You are selfish and need the attention.  But I imagine that those of you who are sitting on the border of the drama continuum; those of you who are prone to reacting, but aren’t full blown drama queens and kings, would say that you wish you could learn to control your reaction to things a little better.  You wish you could learn to take a step back and evaluate the situation and think through it all before you allowed yourself to react.  Did you catch that?  ALLOWED yourself.  Yes, the choice is yours.  Every day and with every situation, we get to choose how we will react, or if we will react at all.  And according to the quote above, the choices we make will determine the quality of our life.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that the choices we make could determine the outcome of our life as well.

Life is a series of decisions.  When we make those decisions hastily, when we jump to conclusions without having all the facts, when we don’t take time to evaluate the situation and make a purely emotional decision, we risk making the wrong decision.  And wrong decisions can have dire consequences; consequences that might make us regret that decision for the rest of our life.  I’m not suggesting that emotion should be removed from all decision making, rather that first, we take a step back, allow ourselves to calm down, and take time to fully understand the situation we are in before reacting.  We should assess from the head, and then move from the heart. 

Ask yourself if this is really as big of a deal as you think it is.  Ask yourself if you even have the power to control or change it.  If you have the power to control or change it, ask yourself if you should or if it can wait.  Ask yourself if it’s worth causing stress, hurt, or frustration to not only yourself, but those around you by acting the way you are.  Then…disengage.  Sleep on it a night or two and get some perspective.  There are so many horrific things that happen in this world, and most likely those things aren’t happening to you, my readers.  Most of us are blessed beyond measure, but fail to see that when we are caught up in selfish, oblivious self-pity freaking out about things that don’t amount to a hill of beans in the grand scheme of things.

If 90% of our life is determined by our reactions, don’t you want to make dang sure that your reaction is a smart one; a conscious choice, made with the proper perspective, and one that has been made with those you care about in mind?

Perspective:  the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it objectively.



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6 Responses to “Slow down there for a minute Drama Queen”

  1. Nanda Patel says:

    Summer so well said!

  2. Cheri Crumpton says:

    Well said. Could have used this blog say 2 weeks ago!!!!
    Love you!

    • Summer says:

      Cheri, you are by NO means a drama queen, but your situation was my original inspiration for writing this blog. I didn’t know, as I typically don’t, what it would turn into until I finished writing it, but after we talked that day, I wrote “reacting” on a piece of paper to remind myself to write something on that topic..and it turned into this. So….thank you for being my inspiration for this one! HAHAHA! Love you too sweet lady!

  3. January says:

    I like this post! This response to any given situation is valid regardless of who you are or what you do. It really applies to parents’ reactions to kids’ behavior. Kids really know how to push your buttons, but as a parent you have to step back and try to see the situation from their perspective, and how you handle them differs at different ages. I have to realize with Rainer for example, that he’s 2, and he’s not developmentally or mentally in the same place as us grown adults or even as Riley at 8, and practice patience and understanding in trying to guide him in handling the situation in a calmer manner. It’s hard, and takes a great deal of practice, but like you said in your post…you CHOOSE how you handle yourself in ALL situations…and yes, there’s never been a situation with either of my kids acting out that really amounts to a hill of beans big picture. To have the ability to step back from the situation, count to ten if need be and reassess what’s going on and how best to handle it requires lots of practice, patience and maturity, and with that you allow yourself much less stress in your daily life with kids, and the kids move on in their lives with better guidance handled in a calmer manner. :)

    I love your blog. I always look forward to your next post! Thanks girl!

    • Summer says:

      Thanks January! Good write up about children. You used a word that I wish I had used in the post…maturity. Maturity plays a big role in how we react to things. You are so right.

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